I’ve always been a proponent of sexual fluidity. I’ve never believed in a binary of whom we are attracted to. Falling in love, or lust, are things I’ve considered to be a spectrum of greys rather than a black and white. So for me and for those close to me it was no big surprise when I started being drawn more and more to women.
I won’t lie, it was something I dealt with alone in my own mind for a very long time before I began to open up about, or act on my own feelings. I was unsure if what I felt was a genuine or a fleeting experience. That girl’s eyes are gorgeous, when she touched my hand my heart sped up, that woman across the bar staring at me is making me blush all over…
I just recently came out to my friends, family, and coworkers in the past few months and it has been a nerve-wracking, exciting, exhilarating time for me. I would say three-quarters of the time I am so unsure of myself and nervous I want to vomit, but I also feel more myself, more comfortable than I have felt in a very long time.
So this will be a short post, an introductory journal post on a new chapter in my life. In the next few months I am leaving New Orleans, which saddens me beyond belief, but I am excited for the adventures that lie ahead. And along with my regular (OK VERY IRREGULAR) blog posts I would like to keep a quasi journal of my first year as an out and open bisexual woman. It is such an intense time in my life. I feel like I am back in the kiddy pool of dating and sex, splashing around awkwardly, at a time when most of my peers have swimming smoothly. But honestly, there is nowhere else I’d rather be.
Wanting to share all of this with you all is more than terrifying, but I want to do it anyway. There isn’t really much more of a reason than that.
Here’s to a possibly very embarrassing year of blogging!